While heading home at day's end, you begin reflecting on a coaching meeting you had earlier that day with an employee, Chris. You hope that, this time, you finally succeeded in getting her to understand the importance of spending less time in disruptive socializing in the office and more time elevating her performance. If not, you feel that your only remaining alternatives are to give her a poor performance evaluation or demotion or may even fire her. You're reluctant to do either of the first two things because you know these would disrupt the positive work relationship you've had with Chris. And you don't really want to fire her. On the other hand, you're running out of patience; this is the fourth time you've said something to Chris about the situation. Admittedly, the first few times, your comments may have missed the mark because you gave her only some casual feedback. But about a month ago, you held a formal coaching meeting with Chris, in which you discussed the situation in depth and came away thinking that she understood the need to change her behavior. In fact, she did change. But after a week or so, she was back to her old behavior.

Sound familiar? The most critical step in the management coaching process - getting an employee to agree there's a need for improvement - is usually not well understood or well executed. Without that, there's little likelihood of any permanent change.

Not a chewing out

As the use of coaching rises, so does the confusion over what it is and isn't. I define management coaching as an interpersonal process between a manager and an employee in which the manager helps the employee redirect his or her performance while maintaining mutual trust. Coaching differs from feedback, although feedback is part of the management coaching process. Feedback is given by a manager or supervisor in response to a specific event or situation; coaching focuses on a pattern of behavior along with strategies for growth and development. Coaching is all about the art of turning situations and events into learning and growing experiences. Examples include missing several deadlines in a short period despite being reminded that meeting deadlines is important, continuing to arrive late for work after being told tardiness is not acceptable, and continuing to interrupt others in spite of receiving feedback that such behavior isn't appropriate. Management Coaching is not "chewing out", taking to task, or threatening employees to try to improve their performance. Those tactics can work, but the results may be worse than the original problem. Such approaches tend to make employees passive-aggressive. They will walk the line and do nothing more or less than what is asked.

In general, a management coaching meeting should take place only after an employee understands clearly what's expected and has received feedback at least once that his or her performance is not what it could or should be. However, in some cases, certain significant events may be the focus of a coaching meeting, before they develop into a pattern of behavior. For example, a manufacturer decided that any safety violation - no matter how minor - would be addressed in a coaching discussion and, if significant, could lead to formal discipline.

Coaching involves these critical elements:

• A two-way dialogue
• A series of interdependent steps or objectives
• Specific coaching skills and strategies
• Courage and conviction
• A personal sense of humor

The management coaching process has two primary areas of focus: helping an employee recognize the need to improve his or her performance and developing an employee's commitment to taking steps to improve performance permanently.

While all of the steps in the C.M.O.E coaching model are important, the most critical one is often not understood or carried out effectively - getting an employee to recognize and agree that there is a need to improve his performance. That step is equally important whether an employee has a specific performance problem or an employee is an average performer who could do better. Without a felt need for change and greater self awareness, there's little likelihood that any improvement will occur or that it will be permanent.

The Center for Management and Organization Effectiveness (CMOE) seeks to improve individual leadership and team member skills within organizations.

For professional information on management coaching, visit CMOE.

RELATED ARTICLES Building Trust For Lifetime Success Trust.One word. Business Career, Executive Coaching Article - Perfection vs. Excellence "(Howard) Hughes never learned how to convert his knowledge to practical application. Instead he sought a perfection that assured failure. Increase Your Sales - Accept Credit Cards Many people today simply prefer the convenience of paying by credit card. If you want their business, you must be able to accept their credit-card payments. Leadership - How To Turn The Vision Into A Reality Be clear about where you are now. Audit your strengths and areas for developmentWhere do you want to be?What needs to be done to eliminate the gap between your dream and the reality?Prioritize - Look for quick wins, consider those things which will have maximum long term impact. 4 Tips for the Summer Slowdown - How To Pick Up Sales You may have heard about the "summer slowdown". You may be experiencing it right now, or you may not be affected. 6 Steps to Avoid Losing Summer Sales It's a fact - the online world dies down in the summer time. Kids are out of school, families are on vacation, there's fairs to attend to, and many are just spending too much time outside to be online. Change in Sales Organizations Starts with Me Question: What do the following have in common?- I spend a lot of time spinning my wheels and not getting very much done.- I am continually frustrated with the performance of my sales team. What Is A Proposal? And Why Do You Need One? Do you know anyone who regularly wins bids? Or can boast a balanced relationship between doing the hard work of producing proposals and regularly winning the business?I'm always amazed at how much energy people put into responding to a Request For Proposal (RFP) in relation to the level of success - or non-success - they realize. And yet they continue to put time and resources into this relatively unproductive activity. A Fracas in the Franchise - Keep Your Customers by Keeping Your Workers As a previous owner of a Franchise I know the importance of maintaining employee commitment, loyalty and enthusiasm in maximising customer satisfaction, generating positive customer perception and protecting your investment.Repeat business is the life-blood of any business worth its salt. 3 Ways to Increase Your Sales Last week I got a call from Jose, who was looking for help improving his ads. He'd been running the same ad in four local papers for two months and only gotten one response. The Benefits of Catalog Sales For Your Business Things to watch out for when selling your product in catalogs.Giving away the farm. Retail Operations - Effective Branch Manager Support and Guidance Performance and behaviour management is by far the most difficult aspect of any manager's job and the reluctance to 'grasp the nettle' when performance or behaviour issues emerge is certainly a concern in many organisations. But at the end of the day that is what managers are paid to do and not doing so will certainly affect service, team morale, sales and ultimately the bottom line. Whats a Professional Sales Manager? I was in the depths of a major depression. As a third year salesperson with a good company, I was doing well, and was on my way to becoming the top salesperson in the nation for that company. Why Performance-Based Recruiting Produces Top Sales Performers Many recruiting ads and job descriptions include "knockout factors" that can actually screen out qualified sales candidates. One example is a requirement that candidates have an undergraduate degree, a graduate degree, or a degree in a specialized field of study such as Engineering. Back-to-School List - 10 Tips for Trade Shows There's a new year beginning now - the school year. Whether you have children attending for the first time or finishing university, it's always hectic to get into the back-to-school routine. Hire A Six, To Consistently Produce Sales Success For many years as a sales manager, I would only hire the stereotypical sales representative. You know the type-on a human relations continuum or scale of zero to ten, with the ten representing a candidate who is totally gregarious and outgoing and the zero, someone who is introverted with few people skills, I'd always recruit the ten. Set Yourself up for Trade Show Success Of the many mistakes small business owners make, a big one is participating in trade shows and business expos without a strategy for turning those marketing opportunities into sales. Here are five tips to get you started. SEZ WHO? Tips About Recommendations, Sales Cycles, and Trade Shows Here's the scene. You're at the trade show, having a discrete "Sales Call" conversation with a visitor. How to Win Over the Man in the Chair Salesmanship, Repetition, and Direct Mail In a classic business-to-business print ad from the late 50's for McGraw-Hill Magazines an imposing looking executive sits in his chair. He has both feet planted firmly on the ground, a scowl on his face. Increase Retail Sales With Meetups I recently attended the monthly Italian language Meetup here in Little Rock. Meetups are informal social gatherings of people with similar interests in a particular topic.